One of my Biggest Trials....

I'm Apologizing in advance if this is a little too much information....

Soooooo......Some of you may know and some of you may not know one of my biggest trials I've had to face.....So just so we all are on the same page I'm gonna bring you all up to par and give ya a little history lesson... :)

When me and Matt first got married we decided right away that we wanted to start having kids.....We both LOVE kids and spent ALOT of our time together taking nieces and nephews with us places just because we could ;) 

So here starts our journey in July of 2004 I mis-carried....We had NO idea I was pregnant when I mis-carried...so I was maybe 5 weeks along.....it was HORRIBLE...worst pain I've ever felt in many different ways....then along comes August....towards the end of the month I think to myself I should take a test-and-it was POSITIVE! :)  We were estatic!! Within that same week I made an appt with the doctor to confirm....and he confirmed I was pregnant....so then came the question did I really mis-carry?  Well with due dates and all it pretty much confirmed that I did---but being pregnant and carrying our baby girl Halei to full term really helped me move past the mis-carriage.

WE ARE BLESSED!

Then when Halei  was 18months old we decided we wanted to have another baby.......we got pregnant....and I was pregnant for 16weeks.....then mis-carried....

Fast forwarding a little bit------Ive had 3 more mis-carriages since then-the pregnancy's lasting anywhere between 6-13 weeks..

Then it comes to my last one I had this past June.....I was 13 weeks along...and we were really hoping and praying that we were "in the clear".....well we were wrong.... :( 

BUT.....

With this last mis-carriage my doctor started running alot of different tests...and we discovered that both of my ovaries and my cervix were completely COVERED in tiny little cysts.....and these tiny little cysts have been there since the day I got my very first cycle....ya see this is what he told me....everytime a woman has her cycle she develops a cyst...then when you ovulate the cyst opens, releasing the egg.....well my body wasnt allowing these cysts to open or release the egg so over time they just kept piling up.....he tells me we "got lucky" with Halei....well to us she's a MIRACLE!!!

It was a BIG relief to us to find out what was going on in my body and to now know how to fix it....I didn't need surgery...so that was another relief....but I did need a perscription to help clean my body out.

While going through all of this- of course the BIG question always was---WHY!?!?!?  WHY ME!?!?!?  WHY US!?!?!  We LOVE children--We want Halei to be a Big Sister.....

WELL....Truth be told....it's not about us and what WE WANT.....it's about God and what He wants from us and what He is going to use us for through this...

I will be the FIRST to admit that going through all this-and knowing better-I would start to become VERY angry at God and shut him out and try to do things all my way....when all this time all He's ever wanted is me and my family to love Him and serve Him.....Now really is that too much to ask for considering all he has given us---I mean really...we would have NOTHING without HIM!!!  We are works in progress but we are certainly trying our best.

Which also brings me to another point...something else I've come to realize....

One of my BFF's told me tonight--God makes EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL!!

and yes I've always known it/thought it--But I guess I needed to hear it outta someone else to confirm it!

I am firmly believing that with everything I've been through God is using my situation to help others....And He is doing it Right now....

Ya see we have these very dear friends....Matt's been friends with Him for many years and as for Her, her and I have gotten to know each other over the last couple years and have become closer over this past year....they are newlyweds and lost their first baby within the last 48 hours----she confided in me a couple of days before it happened because she knew my story and didn't know who else to talk to that could relate to what she was experiencing. I was instantly there for her...hoping and praying for the best... that the first few things she was experiencing was nothing but part of a normal pregnancy....but God had a different plan....and my heart has ached soooo much for them!!

She has thanked me over and over and over for being there for her....and I am MORE then happy to be here for her...it's good to know that my words have been such a comfort to her :)  I actually just said to her today don't you just love it when you find out more and more why certain friends are put in your life??

In conclusion:

 I have come to realize there is always a reason we experience things in our lives....we may not know it right away..we may not know it 10 years from now...and really we may never figure it out but...

GOD MAKES EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL!!

and just to think...their lil angel is up in heaven playing with our lil angels....

Until we meet again

I'm *FoRgIvEn*

BoReD....

Here I sit at work (American Family Insurance) BORED OUTTA MY MIND!!!!!!

There's only so much a person can do without customers stopping in....I got my"To-Do List" done....I cleaned..yes even the toilets....and now here I sit...waiting for the phone to ring or for someone to stop by to give me something to do.

The worst part of it all is I'm not a person that likes to sit still at all because there's ALWAYS a million things to do...and that's all I can think of is all the things I could be getting done at home....

But then I begin to think....Maybe I should consider this a BLESSING.....I mean really.. I don't ever get a chance to just relax....so that's what I'm gonna do...Just RELAX.....

I'm thankful I have such an awesome Boss and she don't care what I do as long as I have all my work for her done :):):):):):)

But first...I decided to do a little "up-dating" to my blog...change the look a little bit....there's only so much I can do to it here at work (due to our security systems on our computers) but it's different....just a little change....Enjoy!! ;)

And last but not least....Halei has joined Dance...and tonight is her first "Dance Show".....they get to dance during half-time at the girls basketball game here in osage....she's pretty darn excited about it :):):):):)

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!!! :)

I'm *FoRgIvEn*

Bring it on 2012! :)

WOW!!  It's been almost a whole year since I blogged.....I try to keep up with all my friends' Blogs but sitting down and doing my own has seemed near impossible lately....UNTIL I read my friend Rachel's Blog and it inspired me to share tonight...

Hmm....where to being....and avoid writing a book---LOL!

ALOT has happened in the last year......Matt started working at home for himself and we expanded our business name to be called Nicholson Towing AND REPAIR...I started my own cake business (which has been BOOMING!) Pinkalicious Sweets--  Got 6 weddings booked in the next year.... :)  Baking is my PASSION and a dream that has been fulfilled---BLESSED

2012 is going to be a BIG year for our little family.....We are taking the NEXT step with our business(Nicholson Towing and Repair) So stay tuned for further details...everything has been falling into place sooooo smoothly.....we truly are feeling VERY BLESSED and can't wait to see what GOD has in store for our next adventure.....He has His hand in it all....trust me when I say your blessings will over-flow when you let Him be in CONTROL and place Him at the CENTER of it all...

Until we meet again.......

I'm *FoRgIvEn*

Hearing His Voice....

This little "adventure" for me all started back in October.....We were out trick or treating with Halei and we stopped over at a dear friend of mines house, Beka Fox,  Well of course this couldn't of been a Hi & Bye quick stop ;)  She invited us in and we went over to ooooo and ahhhhh over her dear little puppy Prince Eric :)  She all the sudden looks at me and says I have to share this with you..."Today in Church I was overcome by this sense of Peace and I just know in my heart that God is going to give you a baby boy."  Of course I was filled with the feeling of excitement....but I didn't realize at that moment just how much this was going to affect me!!

Now this leads us into this last Saturday.....March 5th, 2011......

RESTORE CONFERENCE

Alot of us had been highly anticipating this event and knew that it was going to be an amazing day and life changing to say the least....

The whole day you could really feel God's Presence was there in an AMAZING way.....The morning session was such a blessing....goosebumps over and over again....the breakout session(I chose UNITY) was good and convicting ;)  and then that leads us up to the final afternoon session......Our guest speaker Grace Johnson was such an amazing God filled woman - she truly has an amazing gift and is using it for God's Glory!!  Just before she started speaking another Good Friend of mine Jessica Middour came over, sat beside me and said "OK Have you ever heard God's Voice...Like actually Speaking to you??" I replied "No, I haven't." She then went on to say how she hasn't either and that's something she really longs for...that she really just wants to hear his voice.....and we came to the conclusion that maybe that's something she needs to just lay down and give it to God and it will happen when she's least expecting it...all in God's timing :)  {During this conversation I was thinking to myself...wow she really wants this!  And I have never really thought about it!  Is this wrong of me to not have thought about it??  Maybe I just need to pray about it!!} 

Moving along....After Grace finished speaking we wrapped it up with another round of Praise & Worship...... during the Praise & Worship Beka opened up the Altar to all who felt led to come forth and lay it all down....well I had my eyes closed and was singing away and all the sudden I felt this tug in my Heart to open my eyes and look at the alter......so I did....and here I see my sister in law on her knees....with another good friend Rachel praying with her.....then the tug says "Go.....Go pray with Angie"  So I immediately go over there and pray over her.....then here comes 2 more Dear friends Ruth Ann & Leslie [YES I am blessed with lots of amazing friends ;) ] and we are all praying and rejoicing together....well that was all said and done I went back to my seat and continued with my Praise & Worship.....(Here comes the BEST part)....I've got my eyes closed....my hands lifted just singing away and all the sudden here comes the goosebumps again.......from the tips of my fingers down to the tips of my toes I felt COMPLETELY CONSUMED with the HOLY SPIRIT.....I felt as if my Breath was being taken away....I felt speechless like I couldn't sing anymore.....then all the sudden I hear this BOOMING voice {that I could never even describe truly what it sounded like} say "I AM going to give you a SON!"  Then this rush of JOY and PEACE came over me and all I could do was SMILE and WEEP....My whole body felt shaky and all I wanted to do was fall back in my pew......then my friend Jess came back over to me and asked if she could pray for me :):):)   What an amazing experience that was!!!

Well of course I can't stop thinking about this and I am trying to analyze it all in my head.....was that really God's voice??  or was it me thinking it in my own head???  It had to of been  God's Voice because I heard it!! hmmm....am I certain????    

BUT..... God knows all my thoughts....he knows me and how I am (DUH! Because He created me!!) 

He then gives me a few things of re-assurance that I need....

He reminded me of what Beka told me back in October......which leads me to my wonderful conversation I had with Beka about this last night....I picked her "pregnant brain" and she remembered clear as day what our conversation consisted of back in October.....Exactly How I remembered it ;)  I then told her about the experience I had on Saturday.....with the thought in mind about me and Jess' conversation and me going to the Alter to pray with Angie she asked me "Didn't He just speak to you before that?"  Then all of the sudden it all made sense.....Yes God did speak to me before that.....He was the "Tug" at my heart saying to go pray with Angie....He is always talking to us....It's just a matter of whether we are truly listening or not!!!! :) AMAZING!!!!!

So then that brings us to today..... I am going to share with you what my devotion was about this morning....I carry in my purse a little book called "Jesus Calling" By Sarah Young :)

   

   March 8

SAVE YOUR BEST STRIVING FOR SEEKING MY FACE.  I am constantly communicating with you. To find Me and hear My voice you must seek Me above all else.  Anything that you desire more than Me becomes an idol. When you are determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your consciousness.  Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with Me about it. Let the Light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it from my perspective.  If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it.  If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart.  Seek Me first and foremost; then the rest of your life will fall into place, piece by piece.

Now how powerful was that one!!!! ;)

So with that all said........I don't have any "News" to announce.......but stay tuned ;)
GREATER THINGS ARE YET TO COME :)

A unique INTERESTING fAcT....

My Parents

Dave & Chris Walters

Matt's Parents

Mike & Carol Nicholson

Both Married on October 28th, 1978 @ 2:00 in the afternoon :)

Happy Anniversary to OUR pArEnTs!!!

What's your unique INTERESTING fAcT?? :)

A Prayer Answered......

I Can hardly contain myself with this story.....

I've always been one to wonder when I was truly gonna see with my own eyes....a prayer answered....there's the "usual" things we pray about in our daily lives....good health, finances, our family, etc. and those prayers are answered daily(but we tend to take it for granted)....But what about a something or in this instance a child that God placed in your life for not even 8 hours...and since the moment of meeting them it has been pressed continually upon your heart to just pray for them....pray for their safety...their well being...their health...their family....etc......and then one fine Sunday morning....that prayer has been shown

(in a powerful way) its been answered...

*I'm gonna back up to the beginning now....to when I first met this child**** And for privacy issues am going to refer to this child as Alexis*

Labor day weekend 2010....

Me and my family decided to go camping at Rudd Lake.....Halei has always enjoyed bringing one of her cousins with...so this time it was Carters turn.  Everything was pretty normal and ordinary about this weekend except for on Saturday....

Saturday me and a friend stayed at our campsite visiting will the kids went to the park to play.....after being gone for only 5 minutes the kids came running back saying there was this kid at the park throwing sand and rocks...well of course as the strong-willed mother I am I run over there thinking this kids got another thing coming and where is their parents!?!?

I get over there to find this poor child still in her Pj's in the middle of the afternoon, filthy and eating sand...:(  My heart then just aches for this poor child!  I asked her to please play nice and stop throwing sand and rocks, and also asked her where her mom and dad were....She then replied "I don't have a mommy and my dad is over there" as she pointed in his direction to where i see a group of drunk people  hooting and hollering and not paying any attention to any of their kids.  I then asked her for her name and she responded with "Alexis".  She still wanted to continue with throwing sand and yelling at the other kids...on the outside she seemed to be a very naughty and rebellious child, but on the inside I knew that she was a hurting little girl that just wanted some attention and someone to love her in the right way. 

I tried explaining to her many times to stop throwing things and to just be nice and play nice and the other kids would love to have her around and play(because all the kids did in response to her was run away and scream).  She still wouldn't listen.....

So me and my friend decided maybe we should just move on to the other park....

so we did.....and she followed...... 

Over time we just started to "deal" with her hanging around us.....part of me kept thinking that worthless father needs to get over here and take care of his crazy child....and then the other part was thinking...I know she's safe with me and all she seems to want to do is stay away from her drunken father.....

Well eventually the day came to a close...and we needed to get back to our camp to clean up...make supper...and rest...

Sunday we woke up started going about our day....and then I noticed...the camp Alexis was staying at had already cleared out....everyone was gone....

Part of me was relieved because we would no longer have to deal with getting rocks and sand thrown at us....and the other part of me really wondered about this poor little girl....

Well....as the weeks have gone on....I have often thought of her(more often then I ever imagined I would think of a stranger) and once those thoughts started it would just be pressed upon my heart to Pray....to pray for her safety...to pray that she's not starving to death....to pray that Jesus would wrap His loving arms around her and let her know she is Loved!!!

October 24th, 2010

Today....I woke up just pumped for the day....Matt was planning to go to church with us....It is Pastors' Appreciation Sunday....I'm going to go to a friends house later for a "Merci Headbands" party....Today is going to be AWESOME!!!

Little did I know what God really had in store for me....something I was least expecting.....

We get to church and it's 10:55....I decide I'm gonna "pop" into my mom's Sunday school room and see if she needs our help wrapping things up.....we step inside the room and there's my dad talking to this little girl and he says something to her about "Well there's some more "kids" to join our classroom...right there is my little girl and her name is alissa"..... at that moment my heart just SANK.....and I responded with "Hi Alexis!!!!!  How are you??"  My dad looked up at me and said "Wow!  I guess you already know each other!"  At this point I'm shaking....and I'm really trying to figure out in my own mind...without asking any questions....who brought her here(besides God's Perfect Plan)....

Well Church starts...we are sitting in the sanctuary...praise and worship begins...and I'm praising God extra...and to add to it...all we sang about was being Thankful :):):):)  Boy was I thankful!!  Alexis was here and she was in a safe place, but still wondering who brought her

Then came my Answer....I looked over...and I seen her with the PERFECT family....oh how I was filled with amazing JOY

As soon as I had the chance I approached this family and started explaining my story to the mother....I started SOBBING....I couldn't hold back the tears....they were tears of Joy, Thankfulness, and Amazement of his Awesome Wonder and Grace...Jesus truly Loves his little Children.....

And with that said....Today I seen...with my own eyes....A PRAYER ANSWERED......

*GOD IS SO GOOD!!*

WOW....

OK....I HAVE to share something that happened to me at work yesterday.....

Yesterday morning I was busy doing things and then all of the sudden Luke 1:37 pops in my head....So immediately I think...I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THAT SAYS.....so I found a Bible(and not just any bible...Rita's Bible)  I open it to Luke 1:37 and it SAYS

" For with GOD nothing will be impossible"

WOW...(and to add to it..it was underlined by Rita{Not Surprised} she studied her bible ALOT)......I CLOSED and set the bible down on a table...walked away and continued on with my work.  TO ADD TO IT....a patient comes in later on in the afternoon...(a patient that I've had a few good talks with, knows her stuff and likes to lend a listening ear)....to pass her time this patient picks up the bible I had been reading and opens it up and starts reading it herself.....well I go to visit with her...she sets the Bible down open...and lo and behold she had it opened to.....(you guessed it) LUKE 1:37!!!!!!!!!!!  I asked her which verse she was reading and she said she started at Luke 1:37 :):)  DOUBLE WOW!!!!

LONG STORY SHORT.....Her and I really connected yesterday after that had an amazing heart to heart and now both are in AWE of HIS AWESOME WONDER....God works in mysterious ways and I am excited to see what this all entails for me.....

BUT for now....I am officially claiming

LUKE 1:37 as my FAVORITE VERSE :):):)