One of my Biggest Trials....

I'm Apologizing in advance if this is a little too much information....

Soooooo......Some of you may know and some of you may not know one of my biggest trials I've had to face.....So just so we all are on the same page I'm gonna bring you all up to par and give ya a little history lesson... :)

When me and Matt first got married we decided right away that we wanted to start having kids.....We both LOVE kids and spent ALOT of our time together taking nieces and nephews with us places just because we could ;) 

So here starts our journey in July of 2004 I mis-carried....We had NO idea I was pregnant when I mis-carried...so I was maybe 5 weeks along.....it was HORRIBLE...worst pain I've ever felt in many different ways....then along comes August....towards the end of the month I think to myself I should take a test-and-it was POSITIVE! :)  We were estatic!! Within that same week I made an appt with the doctor to confirm....and he confirmed I was pregnant....so then came the question did I really mis-carry?  Well with due dates and all it pretty much confirmed that I did---but being pregnant and carrying our baby girl Halei to full term really helped me move past the mis-carriage.

WE ARE BLESSED!

Then when Halei  was 18months old we decided we wanted to have another baby.......we got pregnant....and I was pregnant for 16weeks.....then mis-carried....

Fast forwarding a little bit------Ive had 3 more mis-carriages since then-the pregnancy's lasting anywhere between 6-13 weeks..

Then it comes to my last one I had this past June.....I was 13 weeks along...and we were really hoping and praying that we were "in the clear".....well we were wrong.... :( 

BUT.....

With this last mis-carriage my doctor started running alot of different tests...and we discovered that both of my ovaries and my cervix were completely COVERED in tiny little cysts.....and these tiny little cysts have been there since the day I got my very first cycle....ya see this is what he told me....everytime a woman has her cycle she develops a cyst...then when you ovulate the cyst opens, releasing the egg.....well my body wasnt allowing these cysts to open or release the egg so over time they just kept piling up.....he tells me we "got lucky" with Halei....well to us she's a MIRACLE!!!

It was a BIG relief to us to find out what was going on in my body and to now know how to fix it....I didn't need surgery...so that was another relief....but I did need a perscription to help clean my body out.

While going through all of this- of course the BIG question always was---WHY!?!?!?  WHY ME!?!?!?  WHY US!?!?!  We LOVE children--We want Halei to be a Big Sister.....

WELL....Truth be told....it's not about us and what WE WANT.....it's about God and what He wants from us and what He is going to use us for through this...

I will be the FIRST to admit that going through all this-and knowing better-I would start to become VERY angry at God and shut him out and try to do things all my way....when all this time all He's ever wanted is me and my family to love Him and serve Him.....Now really is that too much to ask for considering all he has given us---I mean really...we would have NOTHING without HIM!!!  We are works in progress but we are certainly trying our best.

Which also brings me to another point...something else I've come to realize....

One of my BFF's told me tonight--God makes EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL!!

and yes I've always known it/thought it--But I guess I needed to hear it outta someone else to confirm it!

I am firmly believing that with everything I've been through God is using my situation to help others....And He is doing it Right now....

Ya see we have these very dear friends....Matt's been friends with Him for many years and as for Her, her and I have gotten to know each other over the last couple years and have become closer over this past year....they are newlyweds and lost their first baby within the last 48 hours----she confided in me a couple of days before it happened because she knew my story and didn't know who else to talk to that could relate to what she was experiencing. I was instantly there for her...hoping and praying for the best... that the first few things she was experiencing was nothing but part of a normal pregnancy....but God had a different plan....and my heart has ached soooo much for them!!

She has thanked me over and over and over for being there for her....and I am MORE then happy to be here for her...it's good to know that my words have been such a comfort to her :)  I actually just said to her today don't you just love it when you find out more and more why certain friends are put in your life??

In conclusion:

 I have come to realize there is always a reason we experience things in our lives....we may not know it right away..we may not know it 10 years from now...and really we may never figure it out but...

GOD MAKES EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL!!

and just to think...their lil angel is up in heaven playing with our lil angels....

Until we meet again

I'm *FoRgIvEn*

BoReD....

Here I sit at work (American Family Insurance) BORED OUTTA MY MIND!!!!!!

There's only so much a person can do without customers stopping in....I got my"To-Do List" done....I cleaned..yes even the toilets....and now here I sit...waiting for the phone to ring or for someone to stop by to give me something to do.

The worst part of it all is I'm not a person that likes to sit still at all because there's ALWAYS a million things to do...and that's all I can think of is all the things I could be getting done at home....

But then I begin to think....Maybe I should consider this a BLESSING.....I mean really.. I don't ever get a chance to just relax....so that's what I'm gonna do...Just RELAX.....

I'm thankful I have such an awesome Boss and she don't care what I do as long as I have all my work for her done :):):):):):)

But first...I decided to do a little "up-dating" to my blog...change the look a little bit....there's only so much I can do to it here at work (due to our security systems on our computers) but it's different....just a little change....Enjoy!! ;)

And last but not least....Halei has joined Dance...and tonight is her first "Dance Show".....they get to dance during half-time at the girls basketball game here in osage....she's pretty darn excited about it :):):):):)

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!!! :)

I'm *FoRgIvEn*

Bring it on 2012! :)

WOW!!  It's been almost a whole year since I blogged.....I try to keep up with all my friends' Blogs but sitting down and doing my own has seemed near impossible lately....UNTIL I read my friend Rachel's Blog and it inspired me to share tonight...

Hmm....where to being....and avoid writing a book---LOL!

ALOT has happened in the last year......Matt started working at home for himself and we expanded our business name to be called Nicholson Towing AND REPAIR...I started my own cake business (which has been BOOMING!) Pinkalicious Sweets--  Got 6 weddings booked in the next year.... :)  Baking is my PASSION and a dream that has been fulfilled---BLESSED

2012 is going to be a BIG year for our little family.....We are taking the NEXT step with our business(Nicholson Towing and Repair) So stay tuned for further details...everything has been falling into place sooooo smoothly.....we truly are feeling VERY BLESSED and can't wait to see what GOD has in store for our next adventure.....He has His hand in it all....trust me when I say your blessings will over-flow when you let Him be in CONTROL and place Him at the CENTER of it all...

Until we meet again.......

I'm *FoRgIvEn*